Who Made You The Standard Bearer of What “Real” Is?

Now, there’s something I’ve noticed lately. You probably have too. And it’s this constant narrative of what “Real Men/Women” do or don’t do.

In fact, I might as well just admit it now. Nowadays, the minute I see a post on any social media site beginning with “Real men or women do or don’t do…..”, I stop right there and continue scrolling down to other posts.

Yet, that shouldn’t be the case because most of the times, these posts are written by well meaning people and it comes from a clean space. But the reason I respectfully scroll past them is because what these people portray either knowingly or unknowingly is a perfect picture and I know we’re all far from that.

These ‘reality’ people fail to realize that the constant push of this “real” standard pushes so many of us away. It’s not that I don’t believe in what they’re saying. To be honest, sometimes there’s so much truth in those quotes. But I doubt the person it’s coming from.

It’s important to note that “real” is relative and your standard could be skewed and narrow-minded. If you’re the standard bearer of what “real” is, then I hope there’s nothing about you that’s “fake”.

In addition, most of these quotes usually have to do with an activity or function. Oh how real women cook, oh how real men work, oh how real men go to church..the list goes on and on.

Since when did an activity or function make a man or woman “real”?

What is a reality in your world might not be for another and that’s fine because we’re here not just with an inherent right to be ourselves but also to evolve. And as you pursue your own version of happiness, you should allow others to pursue theirs too as long as it doesn’t harm you.

So, one man mows the grass, while another pays someone else to do it. Both are men and they’re living their own reality. A woman isn’t real because she cooks while another woman prefers to have someone cook for her family. They’re both women and they’re living their own reality, and that shouldn’t bother you.

The only reality as far as I’m concerned is to be the best version of ourselves. You’re not always going to do and say the right things. Sometimes you slip but you pick yourself up because we live to try another day.

It’s easy to fall in this trap of self-righteousness and I know from experience. Yet we are all far from perfect. Pray for me as I pray for you!

And next time you’re tempted to post those “Real men/women do or don’t do” quotes, ask yourself, who made me the standard bearer of what real is?

Borrowed from Pastor Cornelius Lindsey with a couple of personal edits.

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